Marfus Darfus

Marfus Darfus (frequently introduced as Marfis Darfus) is a guest host and recurring contributor on Barely Informed News, best known for helming the network’s viewer viral clip review desk, Amongst the Web.

Overview

Marfus Darfus is an eccentric on-air personality whose casual demeanor and unvarnished honesty make him an immediate network favorite. Introduced on the broadcast with his signature greeting, “Hey, it’s me, it’s Marfis Darfus!”, he brings an earnest, slightly bewildered sensibility to reviewing internet culture.

Lead anchor Case Blackwell and in-studio contributor Liliana frequently express relief when Marfus takes over the desk, openly stating that having Marfus on air is infinitely preferable to enduring Munch’s volatile rants.

Personality & Mannerisms

• Signature Catchphrase: Opens segments with an enthusiastic declaration of identity: “Hey, it’s me, it’s Marfis Darfus!”
• Asexual Philosophy: Marfus candidly reveals during broadcasts that he does not partake in romantic or sexual endeavors, stating plainly: “I don’t actually do sex… I don’t believe in it.” When a pause settles over the desk, he notes that despite the “pregnant pause,” he himself “cannot get pregnant.”
• Idiosyncratic Decimal Rating Scale: When evaluating viewer submissions, Marfus employs surprisingly specific decimal scoring rather than round numbers (awarding a 6.44 to a dramatic Family Matters scene and a 5.5 to Love Island).
• Philosophical Asides: Prone to existential commentary while watching surveillance or public footage. Upon witnessing a bewildered commuter riding an airport escalator, Marfus deduced the subject was navigating a profound “fugu state” (fugue state) where “it’s really about the journey… he discovered something we’ll never understand.”
• Impatience with Stillness: Marfus prefers fast-paced, direct action, occasionally urging slow-paced viral submissions to move along, prompting Case to caution: “Marvis, don’t be rude.”

Appearances

Episode	Role	Notes
2026-06-15	Mentioned in context of game, not actively speaking.
2026-08-14	Guest Desk Anchor	Arrives at [01:06:30] to guest-host Amongst the Web, rating submissions from the Discord queue including a Love Island confession (5.5), an escalator fugue state, a vintage Family Matters cop tragedy scene (6.44), and a “crotch pot” hiking teriyaki demonstration (5.0).

Notable Moments

• [01:06:32] (2026-08-14): Debuts at the Amongst the Web desk with the iconic line: “Hey, it’s me, it’s Marfis Darfus!” Case enthusiastically welcomes him back over Munch.
• [01:08:38] (2026-08-14): Clarifies his personal stance on intimacy during a clip evaluation: “I don’t actually do sex… I don’t believe in it.”
• [01:11:21] (2026-08-14): Formulates his “fugu state” theory regarding escalator passengers on life journeys.
• [01:17:14] (2026-08-14): Hands down a landmark rating of 6.44 for serious acting on 90s sitcoms.

Open Questions

• What is the canonical spelling of his first name—Marfus or Marfis? (On-air consensus is “Healer’s choice”).
• How did Marfus first gain clearance to access the Barely Informed News broadcast room and Discord submission queue?

See also: Amongst the Web, On-Air Talent & Staff.