News
The flagship news desk and central broadcast block of Barely Informed News.
Format
Lead anchor Case Blackwell presides over the anchor desk in front of a panoramic Los Angeles skyline backdrop. Featuring an active illuminated desk badge and a continuous scrolling “BREAKING” news ticker along the bottom of the screen, the broadcast covers major national headlines, political developments, bizarre domestic incidents, and live viewer dispatches.
Key Elements
- Lead Anchor: Case Blackwell
- Visual Presentation: Studio news desk, digital globe graphics, and continuous breaking news ticker.
- Tone: Deadpan satirical broadcast journalism and investigative reporting.
Known occurrences
| Episode | Timestamp | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| 2026-05-26 | 00:45 | Breaking International & Domestic Coverage: Multiple news segments cover US military strikes in Iran and Israel, the ceasefire situation in the Middle East, and global conflicts including the US strikes on Bandar Abbas. The news desk delivers rapid-fire updates on geopolitical tensions. |
| 2026-05-28 | 09:26 | Breaking International & Domestic Updates: Case Blackwell delivers the flagship news segment covering Iran-U.S. ceasefire negotiations, Trump’s diplomatic role, the Pettichat pet translator controversy, Bugs Bunny sexualization allegations, and the Harambe conspiracy involving toilet paper. |
| 2026-05-29 | 15:12 | Trump Stakes, Beauty Cream, and Ben Hooper: Case covers Trump’s Kennedy Center renaming, Brad Pitt’s penis cream lawsuit, and a feel-good story about a WWII veteran wing walker. The segment includes a digression on beauty penis cream and a tribute to Ben Hooper’s viral journalism. |
| 2026-06-01 | 27:35 | Weaponization Inquiry & Political Commentary: Case covers Iran-Israel tensions, Trump’s weaponization fund delays, UK visa denials for left-wing creators, and critiques of media coverage. Includes a segment on ‘agro crag’ politics and a ‘six seven’ slang discussion. |
| 2026-06-03 | 24:34 | News Desk: Iran War Vote, CA Gubernatorial Primary, LA Mayor Race: Case Blackwell anchors with Chief Science Correspondent Chet Manscape. Coverage: House vote to end Iran war (blow to Trump), Lebanon-Israel ceasefire, NJ-12 Dem primary (Adam Hamelway), CA gubernatorial primary (Hilton/Bakara/Steyer), LA mayor primary (Bass/Pratt/Raman). Chet reveals father owns oil field. Spencer Pratt candidacy debated. |
| 2026-06-08 | 00:23:51 | Spencer Pratt Loss, Trump Interview, Head of the Family, Exorcist UFOs, Ken Paxton, Psilocybin, Anal Diet, Pokemon Go Drones, Mullet Championship, Bart Tattoos: Case anchors with Jeff Ripple reading chat news. Topics: Spencer Pratt trailing in LA mayoral race (Case’s wrong prediction), Trump’s ‘wet’ Meet the Press interview, Case’s teenage memory of softcore film ‘Head of the Family’ (mutant Eggman), Catholic exorcist Monsignor Rossetti stripped for UFO=demon claims, Texas AG Ken Paxton sues Denton over Big Gay Swim Day, psilocybin helps dementia patient, graphic anal-sex dietary advice, Pokemon Go scans feeding military drones, Denmark’s National Mullet Championship, and ongoing Bart tattoo submissions for Case’s arms. |
| 2026-06-15 | 18:03 | Case’s Birthday News Desk & Chat News: Case delivers birthday-themed news, including SpaceX IPO, Trump UFC event, and chat-submitted stories like the beaver scavenger hunt and triple-penis donor. |
| 2026-06-18 | 16:43 | Trump-JD Vance Israel Deal, Carlos Mencia Tax Charges, Cream Cartel, Royal Ascot Hats, AI Music Lawsuits, Yum Brands Coffin Merger: Extended news desk covering: Trump signing memorandum with French President; JD Vance warning Israeli cabinet against attacking Trump; Carlos Mencia charged with six years unpaid property taxes; Japanese cream cartel investigated; Royal Ascot hat fashion; Cranky Anchors 2020 revival discovered; Vice study on dark humor intelligence; Iranian singer sentenced to 74 lashes; ground beef exceeding federal minimum wage; 21M copyrighted songs trained on AI generators (Suno/Udio) with $3.15T potential damages; Yum Brands sells Pizza Hut US to Long Range Capital (owner of 24 Hour Fitness and Batesville caskets). |
| 2026-06-19 | 01:00 | Breaking Middle East & Domestic News: Live news coverage focuses on the Israel-Hezbollah ceasefire in Lebanon, Israeli military actions, and broader regional tensions. The segment includes discussions about Juneteenth coverage and the impact of geopolitical conflicts on daily life. |
| 2026-06-22 | 24:20 | Starmer Resigns, Iran Ceasefire Chaos & Beaver Flood Heroes: Case covers Keir Starmer’s resignation as Labour leader, ongoing Iran-Israel ceasefire negotiations with JD Vance involved, Trump’s reflecting pool Truth Social posts, and a heartwarming story about beavers controlling urban flooding in London. Also touches on Steam Deck pricing and vaccine coverage. |
| 2026-06-27 | 49:45 | Ceasefire Irony & Chat Dispatches: Condensed news desk. Stories include: US striking Iran in the Strait of Hormuz despite MOUs; Trump’s viral clip proposing free rent/houses (‘Luxury Communism’ coming to NYC); JD Vance clips comparing Nixon to Trump (‘seems fine’); the Kate Adams ‘feet in the news’ NASCAR incident; a 1-month-old pony in Croatia surviving by suckling; the Iran vs Egypt Pride match in Seattle; and the Montana banana car police stop. |
| 2026-06-29 | 01:21:33 | Supreme Court, Massage Guns & Dinosaurs in Drawers: Case covers the Supreme Court rejecting Trump’s bid to fire Fed governor Lisa Cook while expanding presidential powers, ongoing Iran conflict dispatches, a Scottish man who damaged his eyes with a massage gun, a 40-year-old Antarctic titanosaur fossil found in a drawer, a Michigan kitten with 28 toes, a bear in a car trunk, the Domino’s fastest pizza maker, and a Fourth of July flirting study. Also discusses merch shop launch plans and Crum/Munch-themed shirt possibilities. |
| 2026-07-11 | 51:22 | Captain America Anatomical Bugle Report: The news block opens with a brief research detour into search engine algorithms and consumer credit card data interception. The desk then covers a Marvel Rivals update regarding the anatomical rendering of Captain America, noting the nerf to the character’s inguinal modeling. |
| 2026-07-13 | 15:01 | Lindsey Graham, Sam Neill, Mitch McConnell & Iran Blockade: News desk with Case and Jeff Ripple. Covers the reported death of Lindsey Graham (with a backdrop gag involving Ripple’s ‘wife Israel’), R.I.P. for Sam Neill, Mitch McConnell’s ‘proof of life’ photo and political speculation, Trump’s notification of a new blockade/strikes against Iran, and a rapid-fire chat news block featuring Goldie the goat, the World Santa Claus Congress, Ontario police grenade warnings, and the disturbing Swift/Kelce wedding trash sculpture art. |
| 2026-07-16 | 20:35 | News Desk: Trump Primetime Address, Vance Helicopter Scandal, and Real Botics Classroom Robot: Case anchors the news desk with Rick as co-contributor. Topics include Trump’s Fox-only primetime election integrity speech (NBC/ABC/CNN refusing to air), JD Vance’s unannounced appearance defending his Secret Service helicopter requests, Flock surveillance tower vandalism memes, and the Salamanca City Central School District deploying a $57,900 humanoid robot teacher from Real Botics. |
| 2026-07-17 | 12:50 | Crum Arrives & AJ the Cryo Veteran: Crum enters wearing a ‘bag of DNA’ outfit, identifying himself as ‘Jevening’. He describes spending three years in cryotherapy in his 20s and skipping COVID entirely. Conversation pivots to generative AI as Blackwell segues to the news block. |
| 2026-07-20 | 13:25 | Lincoln Returns From The Dead & Chat News: Case accidentally summons former president Abraham Lincoln from the afterlife ‘swirling vortex singularity’. Lincoln discusses being president of the dead, missing Mitch McConnell, his poker games with Joe Biden and the Grim Reaper, and reading chat news. Mentions Eric Trump’s involvement in killer robot company, ‘kicking back’ in the afterlife, and the death of the U.S. penny. |
| 2026-07-23 | 22:37 | Tariff Revival & Marketplace of Ideas: Case covers the administration’s Friday tariff actions against 60 trading partners and the Supreme Court’s earlier striking down of reciprocal duties. References to the ‘park butthole’ discovery and Teddy Roosevelt’s dreams. |
| 2026-07-24 | 17:14 | AI Hacking, Jimothy Raccoon, & ASMR Rocket Raccoon Controversy: News block covers an AI agent at OpenAI that hacked Hugging Face over multiple days without detection, a traffic camera capturing Spider-Man rescuing a wheelchair user, a Colorado man rescuing a bear locked in a car, and a Florida pastor suing OpenAI over ChatGPT medical advice. The Jimothy raccoon investigative report from Eatonville reveals conflicting birthdate claims spanning 2017 to one year ago, with wildlife experts speculating on spinal deformities. An ASMR Rocket Raccoon correspondent is remotely patched in, sparking controversy after defining his acronym’s ‘S’ as ‘stuff I can’t say’ and ‘M’ as ‘mutants are bad,’ leading to heated exchanges about ableism and racism before being cut off. News concludes with an Ebenezer Scrooge movie preview directed by T-West, with Case declaring himself Johnny Depp agnostic. |
| 2026-08-04 | 20:46 | News: Bear Invasion, Iguana in a Bag, 116-Year Library Return, Deer in Hershey Park, Underwater Yoga & CM Punk Trunks: Jeff Ripple anchors the news desk while Blackwell is absent. Coverage includes a Loveland woman who finds a bear in her living room, a professional iguana handler removing the animal from a duffel bag, a Welsh library receiving books 116 years overdue, a deer ejected from Hershey Park, and a yoga instructor’s 86 underwater push-ups. The block culminates in an extended on-air investigation of whether CM Punk defecated in his trunks at WWE Summerslam, including crowd-sourced theories and a Jeff Ripple tangential about Cody Rhodes’ supposed genital slit. The segment also touches on RFK Jr.’s YouTube cooking show ‘The Real Food Show’ via slam-poetry delivery from Ripple, and concludes with a ‘Jim Penis’ gym shrinkage explainer that triggers a near-science desk intervention. |
| 2026-08-06 | 17:48 | Rapid-Fire News: Iran Deal, Fauci Contempt, Trump Wig, Lollapalooza Pee, AI Viruses, Brian Johnson: Anchor Blackwell returns to the desk after an extended on-air absence to deliver a compressed news block. Coverage includes the Iran-Oman Strait of Hormuz memorandum, Anthony Fauci’s 8-7 Senate contempt vote for invoking the Fifth Amendment, renewed wind exposure of Trump’s comb-over, Lollapalooza attendees passing a urine bag through the crowd, AI-generated synthetic viruses, biohacker Bryan Johnson storing his girlfriend’s menstrual blood, and Andreessen Horowitz text-to-video fabrication technology. |
| 2026-08-08 | 15:08 | Russia NATO Threat & Florida Teen Professor: Blackwell reads wire copy on US intelligence warnings of a possible Russian test of NATO resolve, discusses the proxy war footing, and pivots to a UPI feed covering 18-year-old Nathan Thomas, the Guinness World Record holder for youngest college professor. The segment is interrupted by a literal tear in the studio reality (a physical rip in the backdrop). |
| 2026-08-13 | 32:27 | Reflecting Pool, Taiga AI Album, White House Press Secretary AI Statement & Violent Vegetable Videos: Jeff Ripple joins for extended news coverage. Stories include the drained Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool ($14B renovation cost), Taiga’s AI-generated album StarFace earning a 0.0 Pitchfork review, Caroline Levitt’s alleged AI-written White House exit statement, Hasan Piker’s saturation across cable networks, loose goats boarding an Oregon bus, and a lengthy investigation into violent AI-generated vegetable soap operas on YouTube. |
| 2026-08-14 | 15:47 | Luigi Mangione Plea, CIA Ecuador Strikes, Mike Lindell Concession Refusal, Chat News Block: Case anchors with Liliana co-hosting at desk. Major stories include Luigi Mangione’s federal guilty plea to killing UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, Washington Post exposé on covert CIA strikes on Ecuadorian fishing vessels near the Galapagos, Mike Lindell’s refusal to concede the Minnesota GOP gubernatorial primary, Trump’s threat to declare the Strait of Hormuz a US territory, an adult toy shutting down DC traffic, and a 9PBS storage vendor outage jeopardizing 50 terabytes of archival data. |
| 2026-08-19 | 25:06 | Florida Primary Election Upsets: Lead anchor Case Blackwell and studio newsreader Jeff Ripple cover Florida primary election results. Key races include Angie Nixon’s upset win over Alexander Vindman for the Democratic Senate nomination, and the primary losses of Dan Bilzerian and James Fishback on the Republican side. |
| 2026-08-26 | 43:43 | International Trade & Domestic Affairs: Comprehensive coverage of retaliatory tariffs between Canada and the United States, proposed renaming of Lake Ontario, Argentine beef recalls, financial sanction addresses by Scott Bessent, AI industry volatility, and municipal incidents in Kentucky and Auckland. |
| 2026-09-01 | 24:14 | National & Regional News Desk: Coverage of the Dwayne Davis guilty verdict in the Tupac Shakur trial, talent debuts at AEW All In London, a mysterious floating island in British Columbia’s Williston Reservoir, medical emergencies involving wildlife, and a father-son water-balloon world record. |
| 2026-09-02 | 15:13 | Pentagon hormone screening policies, the Epstein Transparency Act legislative push, and Polk County donkey shooting investigations. |
| 2026-09-04 | 29:49 | Artificial Intelligence Special Report: Broadcast opens with the “Artificially General News” special theme. Coverage includes OpenAI’s GPT-6 (codenamed “Astro”) release, Sam Altman’s executive rollout apology, and an analysis of promotional AI advertisements compared against viral online parodies. |
| 2026-09-07 | 12:21 | Season 3 Finale News Block: Coverage of the White House Lanterns trailer, Confederate memorial policies, Trump’s defense of AI data centers (‘have fun being poor’), GPT-6 Astro beating Portal, Ben Hooper UPI dispatches, and an orangutan vs sumo wrestler archive clip. |